After Helen
by Cinnamon68
Summary: After Gill's ordeal at the hands of Helen Bartlett, Julie fails to put in an appearance at Sammy and Orla's engagement party. What is going on between the two friends? Rated M for mature themes, mainly for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1: Regarding Gill

'What do you think this is, Life on Mars?!' joked Gill as she leaned back on her pillows. Janet and Rachel just smiled knowing their boss really didn't begrudge them a drink after the day they had all just endured.

'Where's Julie?' Gill asked.

'Still stuck with Karen Zalinski, I shouldn't wonder.' Janet answered, remembering how Julie had told her, trembling, that she was off to keep the Assistant Chief Con, in the loop.

'Poor Slap!' Gill exclaimed, 'Just what she could do without.' Gill sighed as she readjusted her pillows and tried to get comfortable.

'Yeah...' Janet said, thoughtfully. 'Who'd have thought Julie Dodson was afraid of anyone?' Janet had seen how Julie wanted nothing more than to escape and come to Gill's party. She'd seen the desperate look in Julie's eyes.

'Have you ever been face to face with Karen Zalinski?' Gill quizzed.

Janet's face said it all.

'She's one scary lady!' Gill said. 'Still, she shouldn't keep her long. I would have thought she'd have told Julie to go by now.'

'Has she not texted you, or phoned?' Rachel thought it odd that Julie had not made any contact with Gill.

Gill turned to look at her phone, previously discarded on the bedside table, next to the gin. There were plenty of messages, and missed calls, but none from the woman she so desperately wanted to hear from. Gill didn't want it to show how much she wanted to hear from Julie. She wasn't sure she wanted to admit to herself how much she longed for Julie at that moment. She was _aching _for her best friend to be here with her; to hold her and soothe her and tell her that everything would be alright. _Yeah, and the rest! _The little voice in her head was screaming at her. Gill wasn't sure when her feelings for her best friend had started to change, but they had mutated and coalesced into something much more than just friendship. Gill reached over and downed the glass of gin and tonic in one. Judging by the state of Gill and the amount missing from the bottle, Janet and Rachel deduced that this was far from her first. Grabbing the bottle and standing somewhat unsteadily. Gill remarked.

'I hear there's a party downstairs that we're missing!' She walked out onto the landing, pausing to slip her feet into impossibly high heeled shoes, and then tackled the stairs, Janet and Rachel behind her, hoping she didn't stumble.

Once downstairs the trio dispersed. Gill went to suggest to Dave that he went home, as he was now looking very much the worse for wear whilst Rachel went to grab a quick fag in smokers corner in the back garden, and Janet went to offer her congratulations to the happy couple, who looked like an advert for young love. Had she and Ade ever felt like that? She remembered their engagement party, with fondness. What on earth had happened? There was no use dwelling on the past, she thought as she looked up. Gill caught her eye as she was wrestling with Dave, trying to get him into the hallway. Janet went over to help her friend.

'Hi, Dave.' Janet said as she took the opposite elbow to Gill, and succeeded in guiding the extremely inebriated Dave into the hallway, as he only half protested. ''M not ready to go yet!' he slurred.

'I've called a taxi.' Gill said by way of explanation, and just then Janet heard a car horn tooting and opened the front door to reveal a taxi at the end of the drive. Janet and Gill manoeuvred Dave down the path and bundled him into the taxi. As Gill was giving the driver the address of Dave's mum, and enough money to cover the fare (although Janet couldn't think why Gill was paying Dave's way) Janet looked down the street. She was sure that the car parked a few houses down on the opposite side was Julie's, but if it were, where was the woman herself? She looked round, but could see no sign of Julie. She realised that the taxi was long gone and Gill was heading back to the party and she hurried to catch up with her friend.

Once back inside Janet mingled for a while then went to find Rachel, thinking she really ought to go home to Taisie and Elise.

'Think I'm going to head off. Get home to the girls...and my mother.' Rachel screwed up her face at the mention of Dorothy. Janet's mother did not like Rachel, and the feeling was mutual. 'D'ya want a lift? Janet had not had a drink, since the glass of wine she'd had at the pub with Rachel that afternoon.

'Nah.' Rachel replied. 'Now I've crashed the party I might as well stay for a bit! I'll get a taxi later. Thanks, anyway.' she continued as she leant in to kiss Janet goodnight and give her a hug. 'We're... we're alright ,aren't we, pal?' Rachel asked looking a little worried, biting her bottom lip. She really had missed Janet since the falling out.

Janet smiled her reassurance. 'We're good.' she reiterated. 'I'll phone you tomorrow. Maybe go out for lunch?'

'Sure.' Rachel said, and Janet headed over to Sammy and Orla and then to Gill to say her goodbyes.

'Have you heard anything from Julie?' Gill asked as she walked with Janet to the front door.

'Nothing.' Janet confirmed, looking at her phone.

'Me neither.' Gill sighed. 'It's not like her, after something like this. I've left her three or four messages. She surely can't still be at work?'

'I'm sure she'll be in touch soon.' Janet said with more conviction than she felt. She didn't mention that she thought she'd seen Julie's car earlier.

.

'I'm sure you're right.' Gill said. She looked so disheartened that Janet asked if she were going to be OK.

Gill looked up and Janet could see the tears in her eyes. 'I'll be fine.' she reassured her friend. She smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes, and Janet knew she was not being sincere.

'Come here.' Janet pulled Gill into a tight hug, and Gill broke down sobbing in Janet's arms. Janet held her tight soothed her and suggested that Gill go back upstairs to lie down.

Once upstairs, Gill raced to the bathroom as a wave of nausea descended on her, collapsing on the floor and leaning over the toilet bowl as she vomited over and over again. Janet knelt beside her ailing friend and boss, uttering soothing words,smoothing her hair back and keeping it out of the way. Finally the retching stopped and Gill came up for air. She took a few deep breaths after spat out the last of the bitter bile that had come up. Janet looked at Gill's tear stained face, mascara running down her cheeks as she continued sobbing. Janet reached for a wash cloth, wringing it out and gently applying it to Gill's face, wiping away all the ruined make-up with the tears. She knew she didn't want to be anywhere else. Over the years the two friends had done this for each other, when one of them had had more than they could handle.

'Oh, Gill.' Janet said as she helped her to the bedroom. She knew Gill had had a very distressing day, but her gut told her that there was more to it than just just the whole Helen Bartlett situation. 'Hey, what's eating you, eh? You can tell me.'

Gill collapsed on the bed, and allowed Janet to take off her evening dress, and ease her under the covers. Gill said nothing, but Janet saw that tears were still sliding silently down Gill's cheeks. Janet smoothed her hair back, trying to comfort Gill. She resolved that she would stay with Gill all night and hopefully speak to her in the morning to find out why her friend was so distressed and see if there was anything she could do to help.

Janet hastily texted her mother so she wouldn't worry, hoping the text alert would not wake Dorothy. Janet was sure she would understand; she knew something about Gill's ordeal after all and she would understand why Janet didn't want Gill to be alone tonight.


	2. Chapter 2: Regarding Julie

**A/N: **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story so far. Apologies for the delay in updating, but I have been really busy at work, and then I was admitted to hospital with kidney stones, (something I would not wish on my worst enemy) so it has taken a lot longer to write than anticipated. I hope you enjoy it.

**Chapter 2: Regarding Julie**

Julie Dodson dashed out of RED Centre, after seeing that Gill had been safely released from the car. She only just made it to the loo in time as she retched and brought up the contents of her stomach, which were mainly industrial strength coffee. She had not been able to stomach anything else since she had learned of Gill's abduction. She refused to let the tears fall yet. She had to check Janet and Rachel were all right, and then she had to go and speak to Karen Zalinski who had already left a message for her to call in. Julie would rather face the Chief Con himself than the Assistant Chief Con, any day. Rutterford never made her feel like a blubbering fool.

Julie pushed herself up and took a few deep breaths, before going to the sinks, splashing cold water on her face, exiting the Ladies and making her way back to the RED Centre command. As she re-entered everyone gave her a round of applause and a cheer, which Julie was not quite sure she deserved. Smiling weakly, she raised her hands so they all stopped, and said,

'Well done everyone. It was a great effort. Gill is safe and that's down to you.' Turning to Janet and Rachel, she said. 'I'm off to see the Assistant Chief Con, and let her know what's happening.' Janet noted Julie was trembling, and looked at her concerned.

'Are you all right, Julie?' Janet asked.

'I will be.' Julie smiled, weakly. 'Now don't you have a party to go to?' Julie replied. 'This lot will sort everything out here, whilst I speak to Karen Zalinski.'

'See you later?' Janet queried.

'Mmm...'Julie said absently, looking back at the big screen, still showing the Police working on Gill's car.

After checking that someone was looking after Louise, and all was well in the incident room, Julie reluctantly made her way to the Assistant Chief Con's office. Smoothing her sweaty palms on her trousers, she plucked up the courage to knock. Julie entered, and briefed Karen Zalinski. Julie gave a concise and accurate overview of the situation and then answered Karen's questions. Finally after what seemed like an age, Karen said she was satisfied and looked directly at Julie, making her even more nervous, if such a thing were possible.

'Obviously I expect your report on my desk, by Monday. I shall speak to DCI Murray over the weekend, but for now you are free to go.' and with that the Assistant Chief Con picked up some papers from her desk and gave them her undivided attention, signalling the interview was over. Julie sighed in relief, and departed. After a quick check in the incident room, Julie wearily made her way to her car.

Pulling into her driveway, Julie realised that she had no recollection of the drive home. She rummaged in her handbag for her keys. Leaning on her door to open it, Julie dumped her bags in the hallway, and went through to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine. She would rather have had something stronger, but she planned to drive over to Gill's house soon. The party was still on; Janet had texted her that much. Julie downed the wine, retrieved her handbag from the hallway, then made her way upstairs.

After she had showered and washed the grime and sweat of the day away, Julie walked into her bedroom, sitting at her dressing table and staring at her pale reflection in the mirror. _Christ, you're getting old! _she thought looking at the lines, and bags under her eyes. _You don't need days like this. _After drying her hair and applying her make up, Julie looked through her wardrobe for something to wear. She went to her shoes first, selecting a pair of patent red high heels, and then a dress to match. As she sat on the end of the bed contemplating the party, she realised she hadn't sorted out a gift for the happy couple.

Usually Julie loved her job, but on days like today, she wondered why she had chosen it, and why she had gone for the promotion to DSI. She worked bloody hard, and it left precious little time for much else in her life. She sighed. She was usually grateful for the insane hours she put in. It stopped her thinking about other things, like the mess her personal life was in. Especially at the moment. Julie decided to paint her nails bright red to match her outfit and set about it, very slowly. She knew she was stalling for time, and not because she hadn't had time to get a gift for Sammy and Orla. As she finished waiting for the polish to dry, she heard her phone text alert go off.

'Damn!' she cursed as she tried fishing the phone out of her bag without damaging her not-quite-dry nail polish.

Predictably, it was from Gill.

_Hiya Slap! _It read, _Hope you've escaped. Looking forward to seeing you soon, G, xx_

Julie wished she could say the same. She did want to see Gill, but was also worried because of 'the incident', as Julie had come to know it, the last time they had gone out. She had tried to push the night from her mind, but the turmoil of the day and the emotions that it had engendered had laid her defences low, and the memories came flooding back.

They had gone out to celebrate after Rachel had got Joe Bevan to confess to Sheila's murder. Julie and Gill had treated all of Syndicate 9 to drinks in The Grapes, to thank them for all the hard work they had put in on what was one of the most gruelling cases Julie could ever remember. Predictably, large volumes of alcohol had been consumed and soon some of the younger crowd were suggesting going to a club. Julie was not too keen at this idea and so when Gill suggested that she had a lovely bottle of Shiraz at home that Julie might like to help her drink, she had jumped at the offer. As most of Syndicate 9 headed into town, Julie and Gill escaped in a taxi to Gill's house. They had not had a proper catch up for months, so as Gill opened the bottle of Shiraz, they had started chatting about the respective lives, well what little they had outside work. Gill had told Julie that she was no longer seeing Chris from the NPIA. Julie had commiserated with her friend, but had been secretly happy, as she had never really liked him that much, and if she was honest with herself she was jealous. Julie had always had feelings for Gill that were more than mere friendship, but she had never done anything about it because she didn't want to jeopardise what they had. She was well aware that Gill was straight, unlike herself, and would not take any advances from Julie too kindly. About half way down the second bottle of wine, Julie had told Gill about a new DSI at HQ who had caught her eye. Debbie Jordan was tall and athletic, with long dark hair and brown eyes, and Gill had joked that she was just Julie's type. _Actually, I'd say my type is petite DCIs with a penchant for scaring junior officers half to death! _Julie had thought, but of course she hadn't voiced this. Julie remembered how Gill had quizzed her about Debbie, asking her if she had made a move. She'd told Gill she was working on it, but Gill had sensed that her heart wasn't really in it. That was the problem with having such a great detective for a best friend, they always picked up on little things, even when royally pissed. And then they'd shared a look of commiseration, and something more, and the next thing she knew, she was kissing Gill as though her life depended on it. She remembered, with a growing sense of horror, her hands on Gill's face, in Gill's hair, her lips on Gill's and their tongues tangling as the kiss deepened. She remembered also, the way her heart had leapt and soared, how it had been achingly sweet and heartbreaking as she broke off the kiss, thinking some form of madness had just possessed her. They'd stared at each other, wide-eyed and breathless for a moment, then Gill had poured the remaining wine into their glasses and handed Julie hers. After finishing the wine, Gill had announced she was going to bed and that the spare room was made up, if Julie wanted to stay. Julie had fought all her instincts to run, and stayed, falling asleep despite her churning thoughts. She had woken the next morning with a monstrous hangover and a feeling of dread. Gill had been bright and breezy, and made bacon sarnies and gallons of coffee, just as Julie liked it. Gill had chatted about the case, her plans for her first weekend off in ages, where she planned to go on holiday; just about anything, but the kiss they had shared the night before. Julie had even wondered if it been a dream, but she knew it hadn't, and then she'd thought Gill couldn't remember it, and decided it was best all round if she tried to forget about it too.

That had been sometime ago, and Julie had done her best to forget, but she couldn't quite manage it. Even Debbie Jordan hadn't managed to distract her. Debbie had suggested they go for a drink, but Julie knew she couldn't start something with her when she felt as she did about Gill, it just wouldn't be fair. Every time she had a quiet moment the memory of that night invaded her consciousness and she remembered it as though it had happened yesterday. She had vowed that it would never happen. She had always been so careful around Gill, never letting her feelings spill over, but that night, something happened and she just couldn't explain it. It couldn't have been just the alcohol, she had been more drunk than that on previous occasions and nothing had happened before. She felt so wretched for taking advantage of Gill, but at the same time she couldn't get away from the fact that it had been one of the most wonderful moments of her life. As she sat at her dressing table and realised that she had smudged her nail varnish, Julie felt tears begin to prickle at the corner of her eyes. She sniffed, she was _not _going to give in to them. and set about repairing the damage.

Grabbing her keys she went out to the car. It was after 11pm now, and she could put off going no longer. Hopefully the party would be in full swing and she could put in an appearance, mingle for a while, and then quietly slope off home again. Julie drove the short distance to Gill's house, and parked a little way down on the opposite side of the street. She killed the engine at stared at Gill's house, not making any effort to get out of the car. She felt incapable of movement; physically and mentally exhausted. She was unsure how long she had been there sitting in her car, when she saw a taxi draw up and Gill's front door open. She watched as Gill and Janet manhandled Dave down the path and into the waiting taxi. _Fucking dickhead, had to get paralytic at his son's engagement party! _She saw Janet follow Gill back into the house, but not before Janet had looked directly at her car. She was too far away to see the expression on Janet's face, but she knew Janet would have no trouble recognising it as hers. Julie still couldn't seem to move, she just sat there, whilst tears started to fall. Soon she was sobbing and gasping for breath. She pulled out a tissue, swiped at her eyes and nose, calming her breathing as best she could. She caught her reflection in the rear view mirror. _Not a pretty site, _she thought. She looked at her phone, three more messages from Gill and one from Janet. Ignoring them, she started the car and drove off into the distance.


	3. Chapter 3

Finally, here is Chapter 3. I have had a few problems, with this and have reworked it a few times. I am not entirely sure I am completely happy with it, even now. Thank you so much for the reviews and encouragement so far. So here it is, Chapter 3. I hope you enjoy it.

**Chapter 3**

Gill awoke the next morning with a banging head and a feeling of dread that she couldn't quite grasp the reason for. As she rolled over and tried to sit up the room swam in front of her, and she returned her head to the pillow.

'Uggh.' she said, or tried to, finding it difficult to speak, as her tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth.. She opened one eye and looked around the room. It didn't spin quite as violently this time, so some progress had been made. She saw there was a large glass of water on her bedside table and a bowl on the floor. She had a vague recollection of Janet putting her to bed and trying to get her to drink some water. She hadn't listened, and she was paying the price now. She slowly sat up, arranging her pillows so she could sit up and started to drink the water. It was warm and not very pleasant tasting but she knew she needed to rehydrate. Gill took it slowly at first as she was still nauseous. She couldn't remember vomiting last night, but knew she must have, as her stomach muscles were sore and tender. She also felt an ache, that had no physical cause. As she had nearly finished the water Gill noticed a packet of paracetamol and swallowed a couple. She finished the water and lay back on the pillows, closing her eyes. Gill couldn't remember being this bad the morning after for a long time. Feeling slightly better, she drifted into an uneasy sleep.

Gill awoke sometime later with a feeling of being suffocated, gasping and crying out. She was aware of someone soothing her and as she opened her eyes she saw Janet by the bed wearing the ridiculous pair of penguin pyjamas that she had bought for Julie (but not got round to giving her) and an expression of concern.

'Gill..are you ok?' Janet asked.

Gill took some deep, steadying breaths and felt the rising panic in her subside. Looking at her, Gill tried to reassure Janet that she was. This was quite a tall order, as she wasn't entirely sure herself.

'I see you finally drank the water, at least.' Janet said.

'Mmm...Thanks for that . I hope I wasn't too...'

'Too wasted..sick..maudlin...?' Janet replied.

'Any, or all of the above.' Gill said, looking sheepish, lowering her head into her hands..

'Gill.' Janet began, 'How long have we known each other? The best part of two decades? You've done the same for me, many a time. That's what friends are for. You went through a significant trauma yesterday, and you are entitled to be a bit...'

'Drunk..?' Gill looked rather ashamed.

'No, emotional. You saw a very damaged woman kill herself after she'd made you drive her across the country, restrained at knife point, all the time thinking she was going to take you with her!' Of course it's going to take it out of you!'

'I should have cancelled the party. Sammy didn't need to see both his parents paralytic.'

'You weren't paralytic, and Sammy had a great time, believe me. He's just a little worried about you. He came in after I'd put you to bed. I told him I was going to stay the night, and he said the spare room was ready, as he thought Julie had planned on staying.'

At the mention of Julie, Gill's heart leapt , and thudded in her chest. Janet caught the fleeting pained expression that crossed her face.

'As you can see, I ,er...found the pyjamas. I'll replace them of course.' Janet said, trying to lighten the mood. She sensed that Gill wasn't quite ready to talk about Julie.

'No need.' Gill said, laughing. 'They suit you!'

Pleased that she had made Gill laugh at least, Janet asked 'Fancy some breakfast? I'll bring it up to you.'

'Breakfast in bed, can't be bad!'

'Tea and toast ok?'

'Perfect, cock.' Gill replied.

When Janet had departed, Gill was left alone with her thoughts. She picked up her phone. More messages from well-wishers, but nothing from Julie. Gill was really perplexed. Why had Julie not shown up? They were good weren't they? They had been best friends for years, nothing had ever come between them before. They'd been through so much together;seen each other through relationship breakdowns, bad cases, shared happy times. They'd also shared a kiss, several weeks ago which neither of them had acknowledged since. Gill wondered if that was what had kept Julie away, but she wasn't even sure Julie had remembered it. _N____o, that's not true. You did everything to make her think that you didn't remember it and then moved on. Oh God, we're really going to have to talk about this._

Not looking forward to it one bit, but knowing something had to be done she picked up her phone and began to text.

___Hiya, Slap. Sorry you couldn't make it last night. We really need to talk. Up for lunch? G, xx_

Just as she finished the text, Janet returned with tea and toast. Gill gratefully accepted the tea and started nibbling on a piece of toast.

'Mm...' she said_. '_This is lovely. I can't remember the last time I had breakfast in bed. '

'Well, you deserve it.'

They sat in companionable silence as the tea and toast were consumed. The peace was interrupted by Gill's text alert. With trepidation Gill picked up the phone, and looked at the display seeing that it was from Julie. She opened the text with a mixture of anxiety and relief.

_I____'m sorry, too. How about Kelly's at 1? Jules, xx_

Gill released the breath she didn't realise she had been holding, and replied, trying to keep the banter going between them and the tone light.

___See you there, ya mad cow. G, xx_

Gill looked up to Janet's quizzical expression, and sighed.

'Was that Julie? Is everything ok between you two?' Janet hated to think that because of her own troubles with Rachel, she had missed the fact that there was something wrong between Gill and Julie.

'Yes, and sort of.' Gill replied. 'Yes it was Julie, and I sort of think we're ok.' she tried to explain. 'But something happened a few weeks ago, and...'

'You had an argument?' Janet looked even more distraught that she had been so wrapped up with her and Rachel that she hadn't noticed Gill was in distress.

'No, no...nothing like that.' Gill tried to reassure Janet. Gill took a deep breath, and continued. 'You remember the night we all went to the Grapes, after Bevan's confession?'

'How could I forget! Rachel dragged me to some club in town, and..' she stopped, realising that Gill needed to speak.

'Yes, that one. Well Julie and I decided a couple of bottles of Shiraz and a catch up here, would be a better idea than a nightclub.' Gill swallowed.

Janet waited until Gill was ready to carry on, placing an encouraging hand on her arm.

'What happened, did you say something you regret? Janet said, when Gill didn't seem inclined to continue.

'Not exactly...' Gill said, and then in a rush, 'Ikissedher...'

Janet's brain took a minute to process the sentence, and then her eyes widened and she looked at her friend. 'You kissed her...And? Did she run away screaming?'

Janet was pretty sure that Julie would not have run away screaming. Over the years she had noticed a few things, here and there, that indicated that Julie was very much in love with their mutual friend. Julie had once hinted to Janet, when completely pissed one night, that she was; but Janet had never thought that Gill was anything other than straight.

'No, of course not. But things haven't been the same since.' Gill sighed.

'Do you regret it? Have you talked to Julie?

'No, on both counts...I just thought she didn't remember, or I hoped...so I tried to forget about it. But I can't, Janet. It's killing me. I don't know what to do. I feel..I don't know what I feel.' Gill closed her eyes,

'Oh Gill.' Janet pulled Gill into a hug. She was unused to seeing Gill looking so lost, in any situation. She was the one who always took charge, and knew what to do. Seeing her this lost tugged at Janet's heartstrings.

'I'm meeting her for lunch at Kelly's, you know that new bistro on King Street?' Janet nodded and Gill continued. 'I don't know what to say though. 'I'm sorry I kissed you, can we just go back to how it was?''

'Is that what you want?'

'Yes..no..I don't know! It was..' Gill's face took on a wistful expression a s she remembered the heat and the passion that she and Julie had shared. 'It was...' _a____mazing, wonderful, something I want to happen again._ She couldn't express herself, and looked at Janet. She knew she wanted to be kissing Julie again. She wanted to know the love, the sheer intensity of it, that she had felt as they shared the kiss.

'You need to talk to her. Tell her how you feel and let her tell you how she feels, and then work out what to do together.'

'I know, but what if she really doesn't remember, or she does, and she doesn't want to explore the possibility of a relationship, or we start a relationship and it all goes pear-shaped and then we have nothing. I don't think I can live without her, Jan.'

'Hey, slow down!' Janet cautioned. 'Stop speculating, and talk to her! Julie's probably thinking exactly the same right as you right now. You already have a relationship with Julie; you've a solid friendship. If you both decide you want something more then you can move forward, if not you've still got your friendship, but you need to talk, both of you. Look where ignoring it has got you!'

Gill smiled, feeling a little better. 'Thanks, Jan. I'd better get up and do some tidying up before I meet Julie!'

'No need; it's all done.' Janet replied. 'All you have to do is get ready!'

'Tell me you didn't do all my tidying up, Janet!' Gill exclaimed.

'No, Sammy and some of his mates did. He didn't want you worrying about it. I did 'supervise'' Janet said. 'Only a couple of broken glasses!'

'Oh...I don't know what to say!' Gill was close to tears, but determined that she wouldn't give in.

'You don't need to say anything. It was Sammy and Orla's party, and he was happy to do it. I'd better get home before they send out a search party!'

Gill felt guilty that she had kept Janet away from her family. She hadn't meant to, and she started to apologise, but Janet held up a hand to stop her.

'Listen, there's nothing for you to apologise for. You'd do the same for me,'

The two friends hugged before going to their respective rooms, to get ready for the day ahead.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **This Chapter didn't quite go to plan, and ended up far longer than anticipated, so it's now split into two. Chapter 5 will be up soon...hopefully! Thanks for all the feedback, it's much appreciated.

**Chapter 4**

Julie Dodson tossed her phone on the kitchen table. _Oh bugger, what have I just agreed to?! Meeting Gill for lunch. Oh well at least it's a neutral venue. I'll be able to leave without too much difficulty if it becomes too awful. Pull yourself together, Julie! You're a grown woman, you can cope with a difficult conversation with your best friend. You and Gill are solid, and whatever transpires today, you'll still have a good friend. _Now if she could just get her breathing under control, and stop her heart beating so fast, it felt like it was about to burst out of rib-cage.

Julie had tried to get a few chores done, but all she could think of was the upcoming lunch with Gill, and after she set her coffee maker off, forgetting to put the coffee into it, she decided to call it a day, and go for a walk. It was a glorious morning, the sun shining, hinting at a brighter future, as she headed for the park across the street. There were already a few people in the park as she strode through, the usual dog walkers, mothers pushing laughing toddlers on swings and some lads kicking a football about. She sat on a park bench, to gather her thoughts, watching the world go by. She loved this park, and had chosen her house, mostly because of it. It was a modest house, and some of her friends and family wondered why, having moved up the ranks, she hadn't considered moving. Most of the senior officers seemed to live in lavish apartment blocks, at Salford Quays or in Manchester city centre, in one of the newly renovated blocks that seemed to spring up with monotonous regularity. Well the single ones. The officers with families seemed to live in equally lavish houses on the outskirts of the city, moving into Cheshire. Keeping up with the Joneses. Julie had never felt the need to do that and was very happy in her little Edwardian terrace. She didn't see the need to move, and anyway, when would she have the time?

Looking at her phone she realised that it was half past ten, and she should get a move on if she wanted to nip into work before meeting Gill for lunch at one. Arriving home she changed, grabbed her things and was soon driving into the centre of Manchester. Arriving at HQ, Julie alighted the stairs to her office. She turned on her computer and whilst waiting for it to boot up, put on some coffee. She glanced round her office at the pile of paperwork that was demanding her attention. It seemed that it had doubled when she'd had her back turned, and yesterday's little incident had created so much more. Julie wondered why she had even gone for promotion, and if she wouldn't have been happier staying as a DCI in charge of Syndicate three. As Julie was pouring herself a mug of coffee and thinking about checking her e-mails, she heard raised voices in the hallway. Julie stood and walked to her door, intending to shut it, when she recognised the aggressive male voice as that of Dave Murray. Looking out into the hallway, she saw that it was indeed Dave, and he appeared to be arguing with Debbie Jordan. Debbie looked like she was holding her own, but Julie knew what a recalcitrant Dave could be like. Approaching the pair, she heard Debbie's voice.

"I don't think that's such a good idea. In fact I think it might be best if you went home, Sir."

"What's going on here?" Julie asked as she drew level with them.

"Oh. Look who it is. What is this Lesbian's United?" Dave sneered.

Ignoring the remark, Julie took in Dave's appearance. His clothes were dishevelled and crumpled, and he smelt strongly of stale alcohol. He swayed slightly as he glared at Julie.

"Jesus, Dave! Didn't you stop when you got home? Not content with drinking yourself stupid at your son's engagement do."

"What would you know about it. I didn't notice you there!"

"I doubt you noticed much, but no, I was here dealing with the aftermath of yesterday's situation."

"That's why I'm here. To see Karen about that _situation._" Dave said.

"And I was just explaining to Chief Superintendent Murray that I didn't think that was such a good idea, what with him being so...upset at the moment." Debbie explained.

_Ever the diplomat! _Julie thought. _Upset, my arse! Pissed, more like._

"I want to register a complaint about how the situation was dealt with!"

"Oh really, and I suppose you would have dealt with it so much better!" Julie felt herself getting wound up, even as she willed herself not to.

"Of course. I wouldn't have let that mad bitch get all the way to Flamborough, I can tell you! I'd have stopped that car, and got Gill out long before then. Jesus, what the hell do you think you were doing!"

"My job!" Julie matched his anger. "You weren't there, you knew nothing of what was going on!"

"I know that I'd have dealt with it a damn sight better than you." he countered.

Debbie stepped in and ushered them all into her office, aware that a few people had stuck their heads out of the surrounding offices to see what was going on.

"Chief Superintendent, I really think you should go home, Sir." Debbie stated calmly, trying to diffuse the situation.

"I will. There's no point talking to Karen Zalinski anyway. You lot always stick together! I'll wait until I can speak to Ian Rutterford. So I can discuss it man to man!"

"Explain that remark!" Julie said furiously.

Dave's eyes flashed as he knew his jibe had hit home. "You lot, you rug munchers!" He waved his hands to indicate the two women in the room. He turned to Julie, pointing a finger in her face. "Everyone knows you only got promoted to DSI because Karen fancies you!"

Julie was very close to striking him, but just managed to keep herself in check, telling herself he wasn't worth the effort.

Debbie had had enough of his behaviour, senior officer or not. "Sir, that's enough!" Dave seemed to deflate, leaning on Debbie's desk. She dialled for a taxi and guided Dave, who offered no resistance, out of her office and down the stairs.

Julie stood in the stairwell, watching as the pair descended, and sat down on the top step, shaking. _Why do I let him get to me? _she thought as she put her head in her hands. She was aware of someone sitting beside her and a hand on her arm, squeezing gently. She had been so caught up in her own thoughts that she had not noticed Debbie's return.

"What a thoroughly unpleasant man!" Debbie said with feeling. "Never liked him, from the moment I first met him. Reminds me of my old boss."

Julie gave a half laugh, half sob. "You don't know the half of it."

"I suggested he go and sober up, and not consider coming back until he had thought things through."

Julie was going to invite Debbie for a coffee in her office, but suddenly felt the overwhelming need to get out of the building. She turned to Debbie and asked if she fancied nipping to the coffee shop across the road.

"The trouble is I think Dave might have a point." Julie said, once they had ordered their lattes and selected a secluded table "I've been going over it in my mind and I was thinking the same thing! What if..."

"Stop it!" Debbie admonished. "DCI Murray...Gill, is safe and well, and I'd say that was a good end, by anyone's standards. There's no telling what might have happened if you'd forced the situation. You'll just torture yourself if you go down that road..."

"Thanks," she said. "I'm sorry about Dave, he really is an arsehole! He's always been a nasty homophobe, I don't know what Gill ever saw in him!" and she shuddered anew.

"Why are you apologising for him? He's clearly threatened by women in power. I've had a lot worse thrown my way over the years, as I'm sure you have."

"Oh God, yes!" Julie agreed. "Hey, you don't think anyone else thinks that it's true do you?"

"What? That Karen Zalinski fancies you, or that you only got the promotion because she does?"

"Either, both?" Julie said, looking bemused.

Debbie laughed. "Well I know the latter to be untrue. You clearly got that promotion because you deserve it! I've seen you work, don't forget, and I'm sure everyone else thinks the same. I'm not sure about the former, but it wouldn't surprise me."

"What!" Julie spluttered. "The very idea!"

"Yes, heaven forbid that someone might find you attractive!"

Julie blushed. "I'm sorry..." she said realising that the woman to whom she was speaking, had at the very least a passing attraction to her, and given different circumstances...

"Don't be." Debbie said. "It's fine honestly. Anyway, do you think she is..?"

"Who, Karen? Bloody hell, I've never thought about it. To be honest, I'd rather not think about Karen Zalinski's love life! The woman intimidates the hell out of me!"

"Hmm...maybe because you fancy her, just a teensy bit?" Debbie teased..

"Not a chance!" Julie chuckled..._the very thought!_

"Do you not think she's attractive, then?" Debbie said, almost wistfully.

Julie stared at Debbie. "You fancy her, don't you?"

Debbie blushed. "Well, I certainly admire her and think she's a great copper, and that voice... I listened to her lecture once..." Debbie was off in her own thoughts.

"Oh my God, you do! You've got it bad, lady!"

"Well, a girl's gotta dream. I'm telling you, it's that voice, it does funny things to me...sort of hypnotising..."

If anyone had told Julie, even yesterday, that she'd be sitting in a coffee shop, with Debbie Jordan, discussing Karen Zalinski's attractiveness and sexual orientation, she'd never have believed them, and probably fallen about laughing. Yet here she was doing just that.

"I think I've entered _the twilight zone!_" Julie said, laughing.

"Hmm," Debbie replied, seemingly deep in thought. "I really do pick 'em!"

"Well, if it's any consolation. I'm no better." Julie said. "Never fall in love with a straight girl!"

"Gill?" Debbie asked, tentatively. Although she had never met Gill, Debbie had noticed the way that Julie behaved when she was mentioned in conversation.

"Gill." Julie confirmed. "Oh well, I never wanted an easy life!"

The two colleagues chatted away discussing life, love and the pursuit of happiness, and whether it was ever attainable. Julie was enjoying chatting with Debbie, and realised her latte had gone cold.

"Shit, what time is it?" Julie suddenly cried

"Almost one, why?"

"I'm supposed to be meeting Gill at one, for lunch!"

Pulling out her phone, she stood up to return to her office. Dashing across the road Julie hit number one on her speed dial. She was somewhat nervous about speaking to Gill after he non appearance last night. However, she was greeted by a cheery,

"Hiya, Slap."

"Gill, it's Julie..." she said, striding back to her office, Debbie in tow. "I'm sorry, something came up at work..."

Debbie's eyebrows rose so high they disappeared into her hairline.

"You're not cancelling on me are you?" Gill's voice sounded so disappointed.

"No, just going to be a bit late. I'll explain when I see you. Order me a glass or five of that lovely Merlot, we had last time we were there!"

"Sure thing!" Gill said. "Sammy's dropping me off any time now. Don't be too long, you mad cow!"

"I won't. See ya!" Julie finished the call and unlocked her computer to get back to her e-mails.

"Sorry Debbie, I've got to just read these and run, but we need to go for another coffee, lady, and discuss things further!"

"Oh God! You're never going to let me live this down are you?"

"Well..."

"I'll leave you to it." Debbie smiled as she turned to leave. "I've a ton of work to get through myself. I'd say don't do anything I wouldn't but that would give you way too much scope!" She winked at Julie as she exited the office.

Julie finished looking at her e-mails; nothing that couldn't wait, grabbed her things to set off and meet Gill.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N **Many apologies for the delay. Between work demands and my computer dying, I've not been able to devote as much time as I would like to writing. As usual thank you to all the lovely people who have taken the time to read and review. I hope you think the wait was worth it! This is definitely rated M.

******After Helen Chapter 5**

Gill looked at her watch, as she sat at the bar, sipping her merlot. It was ten past one. Although Julie had rung to say she was going to be late, Gill still worried that maybe Julie had changed her mind. Her stomach churned a she surveyed the menu, not helping the anxiety she was feeling. She wondered if she'd be able to eat anything, or whether ordering the wine had been such a good idea, given her overindulgence last night. She was adamant that she was only having one glass; she wanted to be sober for the upcoming discussion, where ever it may take them. Janet was right; they had to talk to one another. She simply could not go on like this. It was killing her. Whatever happened today they had to reach some resolution.

Julie walked into Kelly's fifteen minutes late. She spotted Gill at the bar, looking lost in thought. Her heart gave a lurch as she took in the sight of her best friend, looking beautiful as ever perched on her bar stool. Julie wondered if there'd ever been a time when she hadn't felt like this about Gill. She took a moment to collect herself then walked over to Gill and touched her friend on the arm, causing Gill to start a little.

"Oh, hello Slap." Gill said as she stood up to greet Julie. They hugged, but whereas usually they would be completely in sync, there was an awkwardness about the encounter that neither was happy with. The waitress was poised ready to show them to their table, and they were both grateful for the momentary distraction.

Sitting down at the table, Gill started fussing with the napkin, avoiding looking at Julie, as Julie stared intently at the menu, her mind anywhere but on what she was going to eat. The waitress hovered nearby and Julie looked up. _Can't put it off for ever, you daft old bat! _

Appetisers and mains ordered, Julie took a deep breath and said. "Gill, I'm really so..."

At the same time, Gill began. "Julie, we..."

The two of them looked at each other and burst out laughing, relieving some of the tension and earning one or two withering looks from other diners.

"You first." Gill said.

"Gill, I'm so sorry for last night, and..." _everything that's happened since that kiss? How to put it into words..._

"It's OK. I know you must have had a tough day."

"Not half as tough as you! And you still carried on.."

"Barely..." Gill said. "I probably should have cancelled the party, like everyone said, but no, I had to go and pretend everything was all right!"

"You just wanted some normality. Nothing wrong with that." Julie said. "I did get ready, I was coming, but I couldn't seem to..." Julie trailed off. It sounded a poor excuse to her own ears. _God knows what Gill thinks of it!_

The appetisers arrived, by way of olives, and crusty bread, and as Julie tore a piece of bread dipping it in the balsamic dressing and olive oil and Gill followed suit.

"How was the party? Did it go well?" Julie said, aware that she was somewhat changing the subject.

"Everyone seemed to have a great time and if you ignore the fact that both Sammy's parents ended up worse for wear, well it went swimmingly! As I said, I probably should have cancelled it." Gill ripped a piece of bread and started pulling it to pieces as she didn't make eye contact with Julie.

"What's that poor bread ever done to you?" Julie said as Gill continued to rip at it.

"What? Oh, nothing." Gill said, finally looking up at Julie. "I need to say this, so please..." She twisted her napkin in her hands, and looked warily at Julie. "I just wanted to say sorry..."

"I don't know what you have to be sorry about!" Julie interrupted. Scared she was going to say 'I'm sorry we kissed and it can never happen again.' Julie had told herself that whatever Gill had to say about that fateful evening she would listen, and as long as their friendship remained intact, that was all that mattered. Now, it came down to it, she realised that she wanted more from Gill, and she didn't think she could bear it if Gill said she didn't want to give a relationship a try.

"Please, just let me say this. I'm sorry that I have been a coward and ignored what happened between us. I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, so uncomfortable you felt you couldn't come round for Sammy's party. I can't go on like this! I need to tell you that I'm not sorry I kissed you and I'd like to do it again...only if you want to of course!"

Julie stared at Gill. She couldn't have heard her right. Gill wanted to do it again? But surely...

"But I thought that you wanted to forget about it?" Julie said. "I was worried I'd taken advantage of you! You've no idea how long I've dreamed of kissing you." _and the rest! _

"Taken advantage of me? How did you come to that conclusion? I've wanted it too. I thought about it, so many times. I just needed some Dutch courage to get me there!"

Julie looked at Gill incredulously. How could she not have known?

"Gill, I've been half in love with you, since we first met, and well I thought it would always be a nice fantasy. I never dreamed that it would come true in a million years. And that would have been enough; just being your best friend, but now I can't stop thinking about how it felt. How it was the most perfect moment of my life! How I want so much more."

It was Gill's turn to look shell shocked. She gulped and looked directly at Julie.

"Looks like we've both been hiding our feelings. I want this, and it's just not a gut reaction to yesterday. I've felt this for a while now. That's why it didn't work with Chris; I was constantly thinking about you and in the end I realised it wasn't fair on him."

"Gill...I don't know what to say. I never thought you would feel like that for me." Julie looked at Gill, saw the sincerity in her eyes, and was amazed. "You really want to give us a go?"

"More than anything."

Julie stared at Gill, incredulously. So this was what it felt like to have your wish come true. Her heart was hammering in her chest and her she concentrated on breathing slowly to try and calm herself. This was not helped when Gill reached out to take her hand in hers, stroking Julie's palm with her thumb, and Julie felt a thrill of desire, as goosebumps made their way up her arm.

"Is it so strange that I find you attractive?" Gill's mouth quirked at the corner, in a half smile, making Julie want to to kiss her, immediately.

Julie laughed. "That's the second time today that someone has said that to me!"

"Really?" Gill replied. "Should I be jealous?"

"No need." The reminder of the 'Dave incident' put a bit of a dampener on Julie's mood, especially as she decided she had better tell Gill about it, in case Dave really did start to stir things up, and put in an official complaint.

"Actually there's something I need to tell you..."

Julie explained to Gill what had happened at HQ earlier. Gill listened with increasing despair.

"I'll bloody kill him! How _dare _he!" Gill was livid, her eyes flashing.

"He's not worth it, Gill." Julie said. "I told myself that when I was about to hit him!"

"Still he is Sammy's dad." Gill sighed. "At this rate he's going to end up suspended or sacked! It's not the first time he's been sent home drunk, I've heard. I'd better have a word with his mum, and see if she can't sort him out! I want to gloat and say 'Ha, look what's happened. Not so nice when you're left all on your own, is it?' but all I can do is feel sorry for him. Even after all he's put me and Sammy through!"

"That's because you're a good person. Let's forget about him, for a while, at least, and enjoy our food." Julie said, as she flicked an olive at her best friend.

"Stop playing with your food!" Gill admonished.

"Yes, ma'am!" Julie retorted, pulling a funny face.

The pair of them ate in silence for a few minutes. Once finished, their waitress, who had been hovering at a discrete distance, having realised that the two women were engrossed in an intense discussion, appeared at the table to clear the plates.

"Are you ready for your mains, now?" she enquired.

Julie suddenly realised she was ravenous, and replied in the affirmative.

"Hope that was alright?" Julie asked Gill as the waitress disappeared into the kitchen.

"Absolutely. The sooner we finish, the sooner we can get out of here... and be alone." The look Gill gave her took her breath away, and left Julie in no doubt what she had in mind.

"Oh, my." Julie swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. Her heart missed a beat, and then started galloping.

After finishing their meal and with only a minor altercation over who was paying (Julie won and paid.), Julie and Gill emerged onto the street.

"Well." Gill said. "Your place or mine?"

Julie thought about it and decided.

"Yours." Julie reasoned that Gill would feel more comfortable in her own home, especially after her ordeal. "Sammy?"

"Sammy and Orla have gone away for a few days...so we won't be interrupted. Is your car somewhere round here?"

Julie's brain was fast shutting down. _Now where have I left my car? _Remembering it was just in the next street, she set off, saying "This way!"

As they climbed into the car, Gill fastened her seat belt and immediately her hand went up to her neck.

"You ok?" Julie asked as she started the car.

"Yes, just thinking, that's all." Gill wondered if she would ever get in a car again without thinking about what had happened yesterday. _Was it really only yesterday? _She shook her head as Julie drove off.

The drive was tense. Both Gill and Julie were thinking about the conversation they had just had, and neither spoke much. At last Julie pulled her car into Gill's driveway, and yanked on the handbrake. She waited whilst Gill got out, and went to open the door, and took a moment to calm herself. Julie realised that she was shaking, and felt that she was in a dream. _Maybe I should pinch myself? s_he thought. Exiting the car she followed in Gill's footsteps to the front door.

As they entered the house, Julie was amazed at the order. She had expected at least a few reminders that there had been a party here last night. Gill smiled.

"Sammy and Orla and a couple of friends cleared up, with supervision from Janet, I believe."

"Well so they should. It was their party." Julie said resolutely.

Gill lead the way into the sitting room. Putting on some music, she asked if Julie wanted a drink.

"No, I'm fine." she replied as she sat down on the sofa.

Gill joined her at the other end and the awkwardness they had felt earlier returned.

"So..."

"Well..."

Neither was entirely sure who had said what.

Gill reached out first, unable to bear the separation, any longer, closely followed by Julie. Gill slid her hands into Julie's hair as she pulled her down to kiss her. Gill felt Julie's soft lips on hers, remembering the first time they had done this. Gill was glad this time that she was sober, and able to appreciate the feelings without the fog of alcohol. As she felt Julie slide her arms around her, Gill deepened the kiss as Julie moaned softly, causing Gill's pulse to quicken. As Julie pulled Gill further towards her, Gill deepened the kiss, taking advantage of Julie's moan to slide her tongue inside Julie's mouth and explore. Julie responded with equal fervour. They broke apart, both needing air, and stared at each other.

"Wow!" Gill said breathlessly.

"Wow, indeed." Julie responded.

Julie looked at Gill with such a look of love that Gill thought she would die from the intensity of it. She captured Gill's lips in another searing kiss, and pulled her close as she felt her respond. She ran her hands down Gill's back. Julie desperately wanted to do more, but she was afraid to go too fast. She wanted Gill to set the pace. She rested her hands on Gill's waist, as she held her close. Julie's hands shook as she continued, putting all her love into kissing Gill. Part of Julie's brain still wasn't able to process that this was happening and she thought she might just wake up, and this would all be a dream. Gill pulled back reluctantly for a moment and looked at Julie.

"You're holding back, why?"

"Are you really sure about this Gill?"

"Absolutely!" Gill sounded adamant. "I know we need to talk about this, but can we do it later? I'm sure I can think of a better use for your mouth..." Gill brought her hand up to Julie's mouth, and ran her thumb over Julie's bottom lip. "You really are gorgeous, you know."

"I think you need your glasses, lady!" On second thoughts, she was probably better off without Gill wearing them. Maybe she didn't look too bad, blurred around the edges.

It was hard for Julie to think straight, so she concentrated on kissing Gill, hoping she was making her feel truly loved and cherished. The two women held on to each other desperately, as they continued to kiss one another. Gill was becoming somewhat frustrated, as she was now more than ready to move this along, but Julie hadn't made a move to take it further. Gill decided to take matters into her own hands and slid her hands between them to start undoing the buttons on Julie's shirt. Her hand brushed the top of Julie's left breast, and she moaned into Gill's mouth. Feeling emboldened, Gill cupped the breast in her hand, squeezing gently. She was more than delighted when Julie arched forward to increase the contact. Gill continued undoing the buttons, and pulled the tails of the shirt from Julie's trousers. Pushing it off Julie's shoulders, she pushed Julie backwards, until she was lying down on the sofa. Gill leant in to continue the onslaught of kisses. She kissed Julie's face, moving to her jaw, licking and sucking as she nuzzled her neck. She planted a kiss behind Julie's ear, relishing the feeling of Julie squirming under her, as she slid her hands around Julie's back and deftly unhooked her bra.

Julie decided that this wasn't quite fair and reached up to pull Gill's top over her head.

"I think we should take this somewhere more comfortable. I don't know about you, but I think I'm a bit old for making out on the sofa!" Gill said as she stood up, pulling Julie with her.

They kissed again, not able to keep their hands off each other, as they made their way up the stairs, and into Gill's bedroom. Once there, Gill wasted no time in pushing Julie on the bed. Leaning over her soon-to-be lover, Gill set about undoing Julie's belt and slid it slowly through the loops. Once free she cast it aside, as she started on Julie's trousers. Pulling them over Julie's hips and down her thighs, Julie assisted by kicking them off, leaving her in just her knickers, which Gill made short work of. Feeling that Gill was again getting her own way far too much, Julie flipped them, so she was now leaning over the younger woman. Gill looked up at Julie, and felt the breath catch in her throat as she saw the look of desire and longing on her face. Julie leant down to take Gill's mouth in another passionate kiss as her hands removed Gill's bra and slid over her small, but perfectly formed breasts, kneading them. Julie felt Gill's nipples swell from her ministrations. She tweaked one as she took the other in her mouth, sucking, and swirling her tongue around the areola, and then treated the other one to the same. Gill arched her back and moaned, as Julie continued.

Julie continued kissing her way down Gill's body. She looked down at Gill, with her head thrown back and her hair all mussed. She was flushed, from her breasts upward, her eyes were closed and she was biting her bottom lip. Julie thought she had never seen Gill look more beautiful. She wanted to do everything to Gill, all at once. She wanted to make Gill sigh and moan in pleasure, in reality, as she had in her dreams. Julie had lost count of the times she had dreamed of being with Gill, like this. She continued her journey kissing and licking Gill's skin, down over her stomach, sliding Gill's skirt over her hips. Dipping her tongue into Gill's belly button, she swirled it round. Julie kissed down each thigh in turn, and back up again. Gill was moaning incoherently now, as she writhed under Julie.

"Please..." Gill gasped, when the teasing became too much to bear. "I need..." Gill was unable to find the words to express her need, but Julie was already one step ahead of her, as she licked a trail down the outside of Gill's panties, before sliding them down over her hips, and discarding them on the floor. Gill's legs parted wider, of their own volition, as Julie ran her tongue over Gill's wet folds. Feeling Gill shudder, Julie continued, sliding her swirling tongue inside her lover. Gill hands cradled Julie's head, encouraging her to continue. Julie slid first one finger then two deep inside Gill, moving in and out, until she found the rhythm she was looking for. As she circled her tongue over Gill's swollen clit, Julie continued sliding her fingers in and out. Gill's movements became more erratic, as she felt the sensations building. She couldn't remember ever feeling so good. She tried to tell Julie how good it was, but all that came out of her mouth were incoherent ramblings, punctuated by moans. Julie sensed that Gill was close, and redoubled her efforts. Gill's hips jerked off the bed as her orgasm ripped through her. She cried out Julie's name and Julie felt Gill spasm around her fingers. Julie slid her fingers from Gill as she stroked her, gently, allowing her to ride the aftershocks of her powerful orgasm before moving up Gill's body and looking down at her lover's beautiful face. This was how she had always wanted to see Gill, all flushed and messy and post-orgasmic.

Gill kissed Julie as her hands moved over her lover's body. She slid her thigh between Julie's legs, and pulled Julie towards her. The older woman gasped as she felt Gill's thigh slide against her. Julie knew it wouldn't take much to tip her over the edge; she was so close. Gill's mouth latched onto her collarbone, sucking and nipping, as her hands roamed over Julie's body urging her on. Julie cried out as she felt herself start to fly apart. Gill's hands held onto Julie's hips as she rode out her orgasm, before collapsing on Gill breathless and sated.

The two lovers kissed languidly. The urgency had dissipated, but the tenderness and love that Julie was showing her, still took Gill's breath away. Gill became aware that Julie was shaking, a moment before she heard an anguished sob.

"Was I that bad, Slap?" Gill asked, a trace of a smile gracing her lips.

"You know you weren't, you mad cow!" Julie replied, as tears slid down her cheeks.

"Then why..?"

Julie smiled then, through the tears. Gill reached up to brush a tear away from Julie's cheek with her thumb, and kissed her forehead.

"It's just I've wanted this for so long, and now it's come true, and it was a thousand times better than anything I have dreamed!"

"It was amazing." Gill echoed. "I didn't know it would be like that. So..." Gill trailed off searching for the right word.

"_Intense?_" Julie suggested.

As usual, Gill thought, Julie had known just what she was thinking, but couldn't put into words. Gill kicked the duvet under them down the bed, and then pulled it back up to cover them as they snuggled beneath it. Julie glanced at the clock on Gill's bedside table. It read 16:45.

"Gill, love, we can't stay in bed at this hour!" Julie said, horrified.

"Why, you got somewhere else you'd rather be?"

"No, course not!" Julie replied, as she leaned in for another kiss.

Gill dosed in Julie's arms, even as she tried to stay awake. Julie felt her eyes closing too. The strain of the last couple of days finally taking their toll. They were both physically and mentally exhausted, and they slipped into a much needed slumber. Julie's last thought as she drifted off, was how good it would feel to wake up with Gill in her arms.


End file.
